By Star Henderson & Tara Crooks

Q: OK, I give up. We just moved to our first duty station. We are brand new to the military. We’ve been here five weeks and no one has said a word to me. My husband comes home telling me I need to do things because “they said to” but he doesn’t know how or why. HELP! How do I meet new people and get involved so I can figure out this new Army community? I have no idea where to start.  


A: We’ll agree the easiest way to navigate this system we adoringly call “Military Wife Life” (MWL) is with a friend by your side. We call those kinds of friends our “battle buddies.” Just moving is hard enough, but being immersed into a whole new world has complications all its own. You’ve been hit with a double whammy! The good news is that if you can learn to put yourself out there. We’ve got some great suggestions for ways to meet people and get involved in your MWL.
If we were to give you the most basic advice it would include two main components: No. 1, Visit the welcome center that is most likely in the Community Services building on your installation and No. 2, ask a lot of questions, but mainly ask for a post and community phone book and map.
That’s pretty easy advice to get you started. There are a lot of things that you can do with that information you just gathered.

Neighbors
Don’t underestimate the power of an instant community and a great neighbor. The military as a whole is its own community; most likely you’ll have something instantly in common with those that live around you.

The Unit
Every Army unit has a Family Readiness Group (FRG). Admittedly, some are more functional than others. Ask your husband if he has turned in your information, and ask him to get you the name and phone number of the leader. Call him/her.

Spouse Organizations
Check to see if there are any spouse organizations available on your post or in your community. Most locations have an Enlisted Spouses Club (ESC) or Officers Spouses Club (OSC) at the very least. Read your local newspaper’s calendar of events. If you live near or on a military base, local support groups may list their events in the paper.

Religious Organizations
Check the Yellow Pages for your new area to find locations and phone numbers. Call the group for information about meeting times and activities for you and your children.

Volunteer
All Army posts have a volunteer coordinator for their post. Usually this person is located in the Family Readiness Center (FRC) or Community Service building. They have tons of opportunities available. If you do not want to volunteer on post or are in a civilian community, volunteer at hospitals, churches, or for local organizations. You can find those with a simple www.Google.com search of volunteer opportunities in your area.

Professional Development
One place you’re guaranteed to be in the presence of other people is at work or school. Check out the local job listings even if it’s just a part time job. You could also see if there are any local colleges that offer classes you might be interested in.

Online
Personal connections can’t be beat, but you can always find support online. Who knows you might find someone that is actually local to you. Visit military message boards and blogs to find out more about this life and how others are integrating themselves into AWL.

Live Life
Believe it or not, there are normal everyday things you can do and meet people in the process. We’ve heard some pretty bizarre stories of how people met, and we’ve had some pretty interesting experiences ourselves. Work on your to do list by grocery shopping or taking your dogs to the vet. You never know who you might meet. Check out the YMCA for sports or search for a pottery class in your area. Go out for a night on the town and do some sight seeing and shopping. Go for a cup of coffee at the local coffee shop.
On post, ask where you can find the Morale, Welfare and Recreation Building (MWR). There you can find out about children’s groups/classes, hobby or craft classes, or even scope out the post bowling alley. We’ve even heard of people meeting someone while they were at a doctor’s appointment.
Once you’ve made a friend you’ll have someone to attend events with, ask questions of, and generally feel like you’re not alone in your new surroundings. Even if this person is as new to the military as you, you’ll still have a battle buddy to trek the journey with you. Good luck, and of course, we’re always available for advice!

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© 2008, Crooks and Henderson