JULY 2009: Keeping Summer Activities Fun – For Kids and Parents
There is nothing more promising than summer! Your kids are excited and you are excited about all the possibilities and activities that you can experience together. You optimistically plan your first activity, a trip to the park. You and your sweet child have a great time, until the dreaded words “It’s time to go” are spoken, and then your little sweetheart turns very sour and has an all out meltdown. You begin pleading, then yelling and finally dragging your child to the car. The excitement of summer vacation fades quickly – but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Kathy Royal, mother of six, and Patty Emerson, former teacher and mother of two, provide parenting strategies designed to lower the stress of dealing with day-to-day issues with your children. In their DVD, Raising Responsible Kids, they demonstrate methods to use for all age groups. You will learn how to talk to your kids in a way that increases cooperation and stops the arguing. Here is just one of their ideas from the DVD.
MANAGING CHRONIC BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS
Chronic problems such as “time to leave,” bedtime, whining and tantrums don’t have to be a negative. The positive thing about chronic problems is that these challenges will happen again and you can plan for them.
The Chronic Problem Scenario: You’re at a play date, the pool or the park. Your child has a hard time leaving. You know what to expect, so why not try using some skills and techniques that will increase the odds that your child will cooperate?
The Set Up: Before heading out to the park, while you and your little one are still in a great mood, ask your child, “What would make going to the park fun for you?” Listen to all the things that make the park fun for your child and then tell your child what would make the park fun for you. Many parents don’t expect the activity to be fun for both the child and the parent. Usually parents will go out of their way to ensure that the child has a good time, but they forget that they should enjoy the outing as well. This way you’re modeling how a good relationship works: a mutually fun time for kids and parents.
The Method: Begin telling your child what would make the park fun for you. Most parents would say, “You know what would make the park fun for me? I think it would be really fun if, when it’s time to leave, you would be able to leave without throwing a fit. Do you think that’s something you could do?” Most children will quickly assure their parent that leaving will not be an issue – sealed with a promise! Continue the conversation with, “Well, that’s good to hear, but I’ve noticed that leaving can be kind of hard. Would it help if we came up with some ideas to make leaving easier?”
When you have a discussion like this, you are setting the standard prior to the activity. You are letting your child know that you want to have a good time too, and by discussing it together with your child, you are increasing the odds that he will cooperate.
So, when you are at the park, and you have given notice and it is time to leave and your child hesitates or begins to complain, throw in a question: “Wow. Is this fun for me?” Your voice isn’t filled with anger; instead be shocked, as if you can’t believe that this is really going to happen. Then take action, start heading for the exit. This is your way of sending an unstated message that of course your child is coming without a fit!
Other techniques you can try to keep your child moving in the right direction is to ask your child for assistance, like carrying your keys, or distract her focus; ask her to visualize the next fun activity. “What’s the first thing we should do when we get home?” Get her excited about the next fun activity, so she is not so focused on the fact that this fun activity is over.
These methods will help you and your family take full advantage of the summer and keep the summer fun for both you and your kids.
Kathy Royal and Patty Emerson have been helping parents learn and implement these same strategies for more than five years with great success. In their DVD “Raising Responsible Kids,” the above techniques and more are discussed and demonstrated – all designed to take some of the parenting stress out of summer-time activities and the rest of the year too! Go to www.rrkids.com to order your copy of “Raising Responsible Kids” and keep the excitement for summer alive.
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