The Benefits of Babies
By Steve & Candice Watters
Couples considering starting a family might be reading the headlines and thinking 2009 would be the wrong time to have a baby. But even though current financial challenges and uncertainties should encourage a couple to more carefully count the costs, there are still surprising reasons to make this the year to get started.
BABIES ARE WEALTH
Babies require a great investment from parents – the expense of their care as well as the opportunity costs resulting from lost income can be daunting, even for marriages in a strong financial position. Those costs can seem more overwhelming for couples struggling through an economic downturn. Starting a family requires couples to have good financial sense, but having a baby need not be out of reach even in tight times. Unlike so many of the depreciating assets people take on, babies are a source of wealth-delivering returns on investment that are beyond measure.
One of the most challenging times to have children in the United States was during the Great Depression between 1929 and 1939. With investments wiped out and jobs scarce, many couples worried they couldn't take on the expense of babies. But other couples braved it out and found their children to be assets. Among the millions of children born during those challenging days were: the first female Supreme Court Justice (Sandra Day O'Connor), a pioneering black comedian (Bill Cosby), a homerun hero (Hank Aaron), the first man to walk on the moon (Neil Armstrong), the king of rock n' roll (Elvis Presley), the first black Secretary of State (Colin Powell) and many other people of influence.
Couples who take on the costs of having a baby are often surprised to discover ways to creatively re-prioritize their money to make room for something so priceless. Friends and family members are often willing to help them stretch their resources. New parents also may find that many of the estimated costs for raising children can be lowered by living simply and not trying to follow all the expensive trends in baby chic.
BABIES ADD MEANING AND GOODNESS
One of the welcome side effects of the recent economic crunch is that people have been forced to look beyond their wallets in order to experience the truly good things in life. After getting the message for so long that babies stand in the way of exotic vacations and a catalog house filled with cool gadgets, many couples are finding that it's those (often disappointing) pursuits that stand in the way of experiencing the joys of children. While wise old King Solomon's description of children as a blessing might seem at odds with the headaches our contemporary culture insists children bring, new life continues to offer the wonder and goodness that eludes us.
BABIES SHAPE OUR SOULS
Babies require great care – especially as they emerge into toddlers, kids and then teenagers. The parenting enterprise is not for the faint of heart. It is grueling at many levels. This can be intimidating for many couples who don't feel very mature yet. But it's in committing to the needs of a new life that couples are stretched into greater maturity. Children shape our souls like few other things in life, conditioning us to be more other-centered and to take a longer view of life.
BABIES ARE A CONTINUOUS SOURCE OF HOPE
Many couples reading today's headlines are convinced that this world is too crazy to bring children into it. And you can't blame them. Trying to raise a child in our current culture can feel like trying to raise a flower in the crack of a New York City sidewalk. But while fear and anxiety are a natural emotion for would-be parents, the choice to have a baby is an enduring and courageous encounter with hope.
In his book The Mystery of Children, Mike Mason describes babies as "renewers, groundbreakers and world-shakers, bearers of new seed, heralds of a new age." Instead of letting the problems around us frighten us from having children, we should appreciate the potential new life brings for fixing those problems.
THE TIMING OF BABIES MATTERS
Extended life spans and fertility technology give couples the sense they can put off starting a family. The World Values Survey, however, reveals a growing gap between desire and reality when it comes to having children. While only 2 percent of couples say they don't want children, 20 percent of couples end up childless. And while 3 percent of couples say one child would be enough for them, 16 percent find themselves limited to one. Even though couples marry later today and need more time to finish their education and kick off their careers, their window of natural fertility remains fixed. Women today are often surprised to find that their fertility begins its decline when they're in their late 20s, accelerates its drop when they're in their mid-30s and plummets when they're in their 40s.
A couple's age also affects their ability to keep up with children. While couples who wait later to get started might have more money in their bank account, they're more likely to find themselves exhausted by parenting much quicker than younger parents are. This is also true for grandparents. Children need grandparents who can get down on the floor to play with them – and still be able to get back up.
BABIES CAN BE GOOD FOR MARRIAGE – REALLY!
Marriage therapists today often seek to correct the myth that having a baby will make a couple happier. They point out correctly that babies add tremendous new stress to a marriage and aren't a good prescription for turning a bad marriage into a good one. What couples don't hear enough, however, is that letting their love spill over into a new life can give them a fresh sense of purpose within their marriage. Parenting will require couples to adjust expectations about their sex life, their sleep patterns and their ability to take off on last-minute dates. But the parenting mission can mature and sweeten a marriage over the years when a couple commits to send their love into the next generation.
Maybe 2009 will be your year.
Steve Watters is the director of Family Formation at Focus on the Family. He and his wife, Candice, are the authors of the new book “Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies” (Moody Publishers), from which this article is excerpted. To learn more, visit www.startyourfamily.com.
Couples considering starting a family might be reading the headlines and thinking 2009 would be the wrong time to have a baby. But even though current financial challenges and uncertainties should encourage a couple to more carefully count the costs, there are still surprising reasons to make this the year to get started.BABIES ARE WEALTH
Babies require a great investment from parents – the expense of their care as well as the opportunity costs resulting from lost income can be daunting, even for marriages in a strong financial position. Those costs can seem more overwhelming for couples struggling through an economic downturn. Starting a family requires couples to have good financial sense, but having a baby need not be out of reach even in tight times. Unlike so many of the depreciating assets people take on, babies are a source of wealth-delivering returns on investment that are beyond measure.
One of the most challenging times to have children in the United States was during the Great Depression between 1929 and 1939. With investments wiped out and jobs scarce, many couples worried they couldn't take on the expense of babies. But other couples braved it out and found their children to be assets. Among the millions of children born during those challenging days were: the first female Supreme Court Justice (Sandra Day O'Connor), a pioneering black comedian (Bill Cosby), a homerun hero (Hank Aaron), the first man to walk on the moon (Neil Armstrong), the king of rock n' roll (Elvis Presley), the first black Secretary of State (Colin Powell) and many other people of influence.
Couples who take on the costs of having a baby are often surprised to discover ways to creatively re-prioritize their money to make room for something so priceless. Friends and family members are often willing to help them stretch their resources. New parents also may find that many of the estimated costs for raising children can be lowered by living simply and not trying to follow all the expensive trends in baby chic.
BABIES ADD MEANING AND GOODNESS
One of the welcome side effects of the recent economic crunch is that people have been forced to look beyond their wallets in order to experience the truly good things in life. After getting the message for so long that babies stand in the way of exotic vacations and a catalog house filled with cool gadgets, many couples are finding that it's those (often disappointing) pursuits that stand in the way of experiencing the joys of children. While wise old King Solomon's description of children as a blessing might seem at odds with the headaches our contemporary culture insists children bring, new life continues to offer the wonder and goodness that eludes us.
BABIES SHAPE OUR SOULS
Babies require great care – especially as they emerge into toddlers, kids and then teenagers. The parenting enterprise is not for the faint of heart. It is grueling at many levels. This can be intimidating for many couples who don't feel very mature yet. But it's in committing to the needs of a new life that couples are stretched into greater maturity. Children shape our souls like few other things in life, conditioning us to be more other-centered and to take a longer view of life.
BABIES ARE A CONTINUOUS SOURCE OF HOPE
Many couples reading today's headlines are convinced that this world is too crazy to bring children into it. And you can't blame them. Trying to raise a child in our current culture can feel like trying to raise a flower in the crack of a New York City sidewalk. But while fear and anxiety are a natural emotion for would-be parents, the choice to have a baby is an enduring and courageous encounter with hope.
In his book The Mystery of Children, Mike Mason describes babies as "renewers, groundbreakers and world-shakers, bearers of new seed, heralds of a new age." Instead of letting the problems around us frighten us from having children, we should appreciate the potential new life brings for fixing those problems.
THE TIMING OF BABIES MATTERS
Extended life spans and fertility technology give couples the sense they can put off starting a family. The World Values Survey, however, reveals a growing gap between desire and reality when it comes to having children. While only 2 percent of couples say they don't want children, 20 percent of couples end up childless. And while 3 percent of couples say one child would be enough for them, 16 percent find themselves limited to one. Even though couples marry later today and need more time to finish their education and kick off their careers, their window of natural fertility remains fixed. Women today are often surprised to find that their fertility begins its decline when they're in their late 20s, accelerates its drop when they're in their mid-30s and plummets when they're in their 40s.
A couple's age also affects their ability to keep up with children. While couples who wait later to get started might have more money in their bank account, they're more likely to find themselves exhausted by parenting much quicker than younger parents are. This is also true for grandparents. Children need grandparents who can get down on the floor to play with them – and still be able to get back up.
BABIES CAN BE GOOD FOR MARRIAGE – REALLY!
Marriage therapists today often seek to correct the myth that having a baby will make a couple happier. They point out correctly that babies add tremendous new stress to a marriage and aren't a good prescription for turning a bad marriage into a good one. What couples don't hear enough, however, is that letting their love spill over into a new life can give them a fresh sense of purpose within their marriage. Parenting will require couples to adjust expectations about their sex life, their sleep patterns and their ability to take off on last-minute dates. But the parenting mission can mature and sweeten a marriage over the years when a couple commits to send their love into the next generation.
Maybe 2009 will be your year.
Steve Watters is the director of Family Formation at Focus on the Family. He and his wife, Candice, are the authors of the new book “Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies” (Moody Publishers), from which this article is excerpted. To learn more, visit www.startyourfamily.com.
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