As social interaction has changed from verbal conversations to texted acronyms or 140-character bites, parents and adolescents find themselves in a generational gap, widening a chasm of non-communication within families, says Dr. Jimmy Myers, owner and director of the Timothy Center in Austin, Texas, and author of “Toe to Toe with Your Teens.”
The Nielsen Company reports that teens average 80 texts per day, or 2,272 a month. Inside Facebook reported 5.4 million users between the ages of 13 and 17 were using Facebook in February. According to Myers, parenting and adolescent issues associated with the emergence of technology is the most recent trend of concerns facing the family dynamic.
“Unrestrained access and usage of social networking technology not only opens our kids up to cyber bullying and unhealthy levels of social involvement, it also gives sexual predators and pornographers a fertile field of young minds to exploit,” said Myers. “Setting down a set of rules, which both the parent and the teen can agree to and live by, is essential to guiding families through these potential mine fields.”
Myers has spent more than 25 years counseling teens and parents, including the last seven years through The Timothy Center, which is a unique counseling practice that focuses on helping adolescents and families find God’s solutions to life’s challenges. Through his countless experience, he has discovered it is never too late to turn a family around.
“Texting is allowing our kids to communicate without communication,” Myers said. “Due to the unrestricted influence of personal texting technology, there is an ever-expanding gap that is developing between our kids and the truthful, respectful and successful skill of communication. Learning how to properly and effectively communicate with one another has always been one of the primary skills that were honed during adolescence. Unrestrained texting is negatively impacting the development of that vital social skill.”
Many parents give up on trying to relate and reach their children of the Technology Age, not realizing they have just given access to a potential Pandora’s Box of problems for their children. Countless adolescents are left creating their own rules and getting lost in the maze of unrestricted information.
As Myers states in his book, “In the pursuit of their own sense of independence and identity, teenagers have created their own ‘world’ of existence. Most parents simply do not understand the complexity of this world, or the power it holds over their teenagers.”
As with any other aspect in adolescent development, it is important to create boundaries and set rules for texting and social media use. Opportunities for both parent and teen to communicate with one another need to be identified and used to reestablish relationships and build new bridges of communication and create an environment of trust.
“We parents may not understand or be welcomed into our kid’s ‘world beneath,’ but it is incumbent upon us to make every effort to learn as much as we can about it, because this is where our teens spend so much of their time,” Myers writes. “Parents of teenagers should proactively keep abreast of teen culture because this knowledge offers a window into their child’s heart, mind and driving interests.”
Myers offers additional practical advice to parents about dealing with a variety of teen issues, including bridging the generation gap, in his new book, “Toe to Toe With Your Teen: A Guide to Successfully Parenting a Defiant Teen Without Giving Up or Giving In,” available now in bookstores nationwide (Regal Books, $14.99). His book is full of stories of parents who were driven to their wits’ ends but found fresh hope in their struggle with rebellious teenagers. Myers offers his proven strategy for putting a stop to unruly behavior, exerting a parent’s God-given authority and regaining control of the family. Myers received a bachelor’s degree in theology from Howard Payne University and a master’s degree and doctoral degree in professional counseling from Liberty University. He also serves as an adjunct professor in the master’s programs at Howard Payne University and Liberty University. For more information, visit www.TimothyCenter.com.