A child’s natural “learning window” is between the ages of birth and 4 to 5 years, research has shown. But the typical American school doesn’t start teaching children to read until kindergarten. For parents, it may seem challenging to compete with television and video games, but helping your child learn to read is not only rewarding, but can prepare them for educational success.
Reading can be easier for kids to pick up and a more enjoyable activity when parents start early, as early as the day they’re born, says Dr. Robert Titzer. Research proves that early readers tend to enjoy reading more, do better in school and are less likely to drop out than those children with poor reading skills. However, myths surrounding early reading persist and include:
Myth: I don’t need to focus on reading at home. All children will learn how to read by the end of kindergarten.
Studies show that if a child is not reading at grade level by the end of the first grade, chances are very slim that he will ever catch up to grade level.  Forty percent of 8-year-olds cannot read independently, which indicates the reading skills acquired in kindergarten are not enough.
Myth: It’s harmful to my child to learn how to read early because they’ll be ahead of the rest of their class.
Children who enter school already equipped with reading skills have higher self-esteem than children who do not, according to research.
Myth: A focus on learning to read is pushing a child too hard. Just let kids be kids.
Reading is a great way to spark imagination and early readers often have a lifelong love of books. The key is for parents to make reading fun, never a chore.
Titzer, a renowned infant learning and development expert, developed the Your Baby Can Read early language development system to change how and when children learn to read. Generally designed for children between the ages of 6 months and 5 years, the system uses tools like games, word cards, educational DVDs and music to help parents teach children how to read and to make it a fun activity for everyone.
Titzer offers the following tips to help parents encourage their young children to read:
• Start reading with your child from the day they’re born. A baby’s brain thrives on stimulation and, while it may not seem like they’re paying attention, they’re absorbing everything going on around them.
• Make reading fun. Use different character voices, act out a story, set aside a special story time with all family members and encourage children to participate in everything from turning pages to pointing out words.
• Use multimedia learning to appeal to different personality types and learning styles.
• Have a variety of books on hand and a comfortable place to read each day.
• Visit the library and encourage children to choose books they’re interested in.
For more information on the Your Baby Can Read system and additional tips to help your child learn to read, visit YourBabyCanRead.com.


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By Dr. Donna LaMar and Betsy Laney

You likely see princes and princesses every day: The baby who fusses for less than 10 seconds before Mom or Dad comes running. The toddler who “won’t let” Mom leave the store without always buying a new toy. The teenager who dictates what brand of everything the family purchases – from clothing to electronic equipment.
These so-called princes and princesses have complete control over the household. And when they don’t get their way, everyone within earshot knows about it.
While this type of behavior has always been in existence, we see more of it these days. Between both parents working outside the home and an influx of media messages that distort what a parent/child relationship should resemble, too many parents today are either trying to be their child’s best friend, or they’re trying to relive their own childhood through their children.
However, parents need to realize that their No. 1 responsibility is to prepare their children for life – the good, the bad and the ugly of it. Always giving in to what your child wants is actually harming the child, making him or her irresponsible, uncaring and simply not ready for the real world. In fact, a child who isn’t given an opportunity to learn how to deal with life or how to cope with making mistakes is being neglected and abused.   
Despite what many parents think, children thrive on routine, limits and rules. Those three things equal security for them. When routines, limits and rules are lacking, children become terrified, neurotic, anxious and upset because they know they’re not supposed to be in charge.
If you fear that one of your children is currently a prince or princess, or if you want to avoid creating one in the first place, you need to change your perspective of yourself, your child and your parenting techniques from being totally permissive to displaying appropriate authority. That’s the only way you’ll help your children develop into responsible, caring adults. Use the following suggestions to help guide your efforts.

1. Make your child responsible for age-appropriate behaviors and responsibilities.
Giving your child chores and responsibilities starts as early as age 2. Children need to learn early that everyone in the family has to work together to get everything done. Toddlers can set the table, empty their trash from their room, put their dirty clothes in the hamper and pick out their own clothes. Preschoolers can be responsible for keeping their room clean, packing their clothes for a trip, putting their clothes away from the laundry and caring for a pet. As children get older, they can mow the lawn, vacuum, do laundry and cook a simple meal. The key is to give the child age-appropriate tasks that teach him or her how to be an adult. With that said, you have to be aware of when the child can’t handle something and be able to step in to teach and guide the child before things get out of control. This may include stopping an activity that is not safe and teaching them why.

2. Refuse to allow your child to manipulate you, others or the world.
When children act out at home, they sometimes do not act out in other places; however, the prince and princess usually do. They expect everyone to treat them as royalty. And sometimes grandparents or other well-meaning adults may inadvertently help this behavior continue by bowing down to it. That’s why you need to stop the behavior at home right away before it gets out of hand and continues into other areas of the child’s life. If you allow your child to believe that the rules don’t apply to him or her at home, then there’s no way the child will be able to follow the rules at school or in life.

3. When there is a temper tantrum, give children what they don’t want versus what they do want.
Giving into a temper tantrum only reinforces bad behavior. Instead, ignore the tantrum. For example, if a child is throwing a tantrum because she wants a cookie, that cookie just disappeared. It no longer exists and therefore the child can’t have it. Unfortunately, many parents and children are confused between wants and needs. Wants don’t have to be fulfilled; needs do. Typically tantrums involve wants. To effectively deal with tantrums, parents need to shift into a neutral gear and be calm and assertive during a tantrum. Don’t play into the child’s emotion. Make sure the child is safe, and then calmly walk away. Once the audience is gone (you) the tantrum will usually stop.

4. Don’t rescue your children when they make bad decisions, unless they are in danger.
Parents naturally want to rescue their children from doing something stupid, but you need to resist that urge and let children make their own mistakes (within reasonable safety parameters). Parent your children with both your head and your heart. That means before you step in and “protect” your child, you have to ask yourself, “Should I really give in to this? If I do this, is this going to help this child to become a responsible adult?” For example, suppose you grounded your child for a week. By day two, you can’t drop it back to a two-day grounding, believing your child has learned his or her lesson. Rather, you need to let your children suffer the repercussions of any decision they make. Remember that it’s only in the pain and the suffering that we grow. If you take that away from your children, you’re essentially saying, “I’m choosing to not let you grow; I don’t love you enough.” When you truly love someone, you care enough to help that person grow physically, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.

5. Teach your children about the needs and wants of other people.
In order for your children to grow up into responsible and caring adults, they need to understand that other people have needs, wants, and feelings too. Some ways to foster this attitude in your children include:
• Having them decide which of their toys they’d like to give to children who don’t have toys.
• Letting them use their own money to purchase needed items for others (such as food baskets for the poor).
• Encouraging them to give away some of their clothes to a clothes closet or charity.
Parents set the tone for this behavior. So if your children are not aware of other people’s needs and wants, you need to help them have experiences that teach them these things.

Responsible Parenting Yields Responsible Children
If you think you’re doing something wonderful for your children by “giving them everything,” think again. You’re really just creating monsters. Additionally, parents who raise princes and princesses typically suffer too. They lose who they are because they’re spending so much time trying to please their children.
Always remember that good parenting means helping your children grow and develop into the best people they can be. This usually involves setting limits; teaching children how to handle challenges, stress and difficult times; demonstrating how to be in relationships appropriately; modeling patience and appropriate giving; and teaching kindness. The goal is to prepare your children to become healthy, responsible, contributing members of society. By following all these steps, you can finally end the reign of terror that has been dominating your household and raise healthy, productive and emotionally secure children who are assets to your community.

Dr. Donna LaMar and Betsy Laney are psychologists who created The Farm, an educational, mental health and preventive program for youth and families. They help people learn and grow, as well as heal from traumas, abuse and neglect. Working with animals, plants and nature, LaMar and Laney provide a unique form of eco-therapy and counseling to overcome life’s challenges. In addition, LaMar is working on her book, “If Marie Can Do it, So Can I!” about transcending abuse. For more information on their work, visit www.LivingFarm.org or call 231-924-2401.
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While many parents are aware of the dangers a backyard pool poses to young children, not everyone knows about other drowning hazards around the home. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission offers the following information to help prevent a child from drowning.

GENERAL WATER SAFETY TIPS
• Maintain constant supervision. Watch children around any water environment (pool, stream, lake, tub, hot tub, toilet, bucket of water), no matter what skills your child has acquired and no matter how shallow the water.
• Don't rely on substitutes. The use of bath seats, flotation devices and inflatable toys cannot replace parental/caregiver supervision. Such devices could suddenly shift position, lose air or slip out from underneath a child, creating a drowning hazard.
• Parents/caregivers should take an infant and child CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) course. Knowing these skills is important around the water and will expand your capabilities to provide care for your child - it can be a lifesaver when seconds count.

POOL, SPA AND HOT TUB SAFETY
Enroll children in a water safety course or learn-to-swim program. If you choose to enroll a child under age 4 in a water safety course or learn-to-swim program, know that this is primarily a way for you and your child to have fun together in the water. The American Academy of Pediatrics does NOT recommend swimming lessons for kids under age 4 because they are developmentally not yet ready. It will not make your child “drown-proof,” but will teach important behaviors about water safety, such as not pushing, running, diving in shallow water, or swimming alone.
Never leave a child unobserved in a pool. Adult supervision is essential. A parent's/caregiver's eyes must be on the child at all times.
Install a phone by the pool or keep a cordless phone nearby so you can call 9-1-1 in an emergency. Better yet, put 9-1-1 in your speed dial. Keep rescue equipment by the pool.
Enclose the pool completely with a barrier. Fences should be at least four feet high and have self-latching, self-closing gates. Layers of protection are important, so also consider using door and pool alarms and pool safety covers.
Be sure to lock or remove ladders from aboveground pools. Remove all toys from pools to avoid children being tempted to retrieve them.
Hot tubs pose a drowning risk to children and overheating risks to very young children. Always secure safety covers and barriers to prevent children from gaining access to spas or hot tubs when not in use.
If a child is missing, always look in the pool or spa first. Seconds count in preventing death or disability.

BATH SAFETY
• Before you begin bathing your child, have all supplies within arm's reach and in front of you.
• DO NOT leave a baby unattended for even a second. If you need to leave the bathroom, take the baby with you. Do not rely on older children to watch the baby for you.
• Baby bath seats and baby bathtubs are not substitutes for supervision. They are only bathing aids, not safety devices. All warnings and manufacturer's instructions should be strictly followed when using a baby bath seat.
• If the bath seat moves or tips while your child is in it, stop using it.
• Never leave a child unattended while filling the bathtub and always empty bath water immediately after use. Babies can drown in as little as one inch of water.
• Test water temperature with your elbow or a thermometer. Temperature should be between 90 and 100 degrees Fahrenheit.
• Consider placing a latch on the bathroom door to keep children out of the bathroom when unsupervised.
• Keep the toilet lid down to prevent access to the water, and consider using a toilet seat lock to stop children from opening the lid.

SAFETY AROUND THE HOUSE
Never leave a container such as a bucket with even a small amount of liquid unattended. When finished using a container, empty it immediately. Do not leave empty containers outside in the yard or around the house where they may accumulate water and attract young children.
Other items that contain liquids that may be hazardous are sinks, coolers, fish tanks and landscape ponds.
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Families today tell many different stories. Each comprised different cultures, ancestry and heritage and because of this, many parents today want their children to celebrate their heritage and to grow up with a natural appreciation for different cultures.
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