by Belinda J. Mooney      

Toddlers love spending time with mom or dad. They enjoy activities that engage all their senses as well as their body. If they can explore, wiggle, jump or do something that makes them curious they love it. Keep in mind when planning play time and activities with your toddler their attention span is short. But there are things that toddlers and preschoolers will do for a very long time if you let them. Here are five fun ways to play with your toddler.

Water Fun
Kids of all ages love to play in the water. You can keep a toddler entertained for literally hours by giving them a dishpan full of water, some small plastic kitchen items like measuring spoons or toy dishes. Throw in some small toy animals and a small cloth and they are all set. If the weather is too cold to allow this outside let them play in the empty bath tub with the pan (great way to occupy them while you are putting on makeup) or use a small empty plastic pool. Set it right in the kitchen.

Cooking Fun
You might think this age would be too young to help in the kitchen but you would be wrong.  Toddlers love doing anything mommy and daddy or grandparents do and that includes cooking. They can stir pudding or a cake mix, sprinkle chocolate chips into cookie dough or put baby carrots on a dish. Let them spread their own jam on toast with a plastic butter knife.

Bubble Fun
Toddlers are simply fascinated by bubbles. You can blow them by the hour and they will squeal with delight. Talk about colors when you blow bubbles and size. Big bubble, small bubble. Count the bubbles. Turn playtime into learning fun whenever you can. You can even find recipes to make your own bubble mix.

Reading Fun
Board books are great for little people. They won’t sit still for long but reading to your toddler is a wonderful way to nurture the love of books. This is the age you teach them to treasure books and not tear them or write in them. Don’t worry if they don’t listen to the whole story. Simply point out various things to them in the books and talk about them. Say things like, “See the cow? What does the cow say?”

Building Fun
Blocks are another classic toy that kids love. Stackable wooden blocks, or large interlocking plastic blocks, they all stack up to fun. Make a castle or a tunnel for cars to go through. Build a house or a fort. One thing you can do that your toddler will love is to build a tower and let them knock it over. They love doing this.

It’s about quality time and it doesn’t take much to please a toddler! They simply want to be with you no matter what you are doing.

Editor’s Note:  Brenda can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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As your older children board the bus to go back to school, it can be difficult for the younger ones. They're not only losing a play companion but may feel they're missing out on an exciting new world. But never fear, there are plenty of ways you can bring the wonderment of the classroom into your house so your younger children won't feel left behind.

• Create the right atmosphere.
By having a desk, craft items and maybe even a backpack of his own, your child can easily imagine he's in a classroom setting. Plus, as younger children age, you can reuse the space by transforming the school-play area into a homework and study zone.

• Find toys that offer "teachable moments."
There are many toys you can purchase that help develop math skills, creativity and body coordination as part of the fun. For example, take the TRIO building set of bricks, sticks and panels from Fisher-Price. Building sets improve hand-eye coordination; help children develop spatial relationships, determine shapes and classifications; and encourage creativity.
"You will often see toddlers enjoying the process of stacking things up; as they get a little older, they move outward, building bridges and walling things in. As children get close to 5 years, they use more complex patterns with greater symmetry, creating more representational structures like a building, tree or animal," says Cynthia Lynn-Garbe, a senior child researcher at Fisher-Price. "The bricks, sticks and panels of the TRIO building system let children experiment with how things fit together, then advance to creating more complex structures."
And would you guess that building sets not only encourage creativity and fine motor-skill development but also encourage language skills? Lynn-Garbe suggests having your child build something without telling you what it is. You can then ask about the creation, what it's used for and who lives there, making guesses as you continue to encourage your child to use her imagination as she tells a story about what she built. "Building can offer family fun as well as touch on some really important skill development that may just spark that engineer or architect of the future," Lynn-Garbe says.

• Turn household chores into a learning opportunity.
Having children help with household chores not only teaches them responsibility, but it also gives you an excellent chance to be a teacher. For example, if you're doing laundry, have your child help you sort the clothes by color. Sure, it will take longer, but your child will soon be able to recognize different colors and understand the concepts of sorting and organizing. Or if you're cooking, let your child help measure so they can grasp simple fractions -- without even knowing it.

• Play with music.
There are lots of creative ways you can introduce your child to the world of music. For example, play music on the TV or stereo and let children keep the rhythm while dancing around, playing a toy drum or clapping their hands. You can even help your child make colorful streamer ribbons to dance with, adding more fun to the activity. As they get older, introduce your children to reading music and playing a small keyboard or other easy instruments.
By having their own school at home, your younger children will not only have fun but be better prepared when it's their turn to get on the bus in the morning.


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A child’s natural “learning window” is between the ages of birth and 4 to 5 years, research has shown. But the typical American school doesn’t start teaching children to read until kindergarten. For parents, it may seem challenging to compete with television and video games, but helping your child learn to read is not only rewarding, but can prepare them for educational success.
Reading can be easier for kids to pick up and a more enjoyable activity when parents start early, as early as the day they’re born, says Dr. Robert Titzer. Research proves that early readers tend to enjoy reading more, do better in school and are less likely to drop out than those children with poor reading skills. However, myths surrounding early reading persist and include:
Myth: I don’t need to focus on reading at home. All children will learn how to read by the end of kindergarten.
Studies show that if a child is not reading at grade level by the end of the first grade, chances are very slim that he will ever catch up to grade level.  Forty percent of 8-year-olds cannot read independently, which indicates the reading skills acquired in kindergarten are not enough.
Myth: It’s harmful to my child to learn how to read early because they’ll be ahead of the rest of their class.
Children who enter school already equipped with reading skills have higher self-esteem than children who do not, according to research.
Myth: A focus on learning to read is pushing a child too hard. Just let kids be kids.
Reading is a great way to spark imagination and early readers often have a lifelong love of books. The key is for parents to make reading fun, never a chore.
Titzer, a renowned infant learning and development expert, developed the Your Baby Can Read early language development system to change how and when children learn to read. Generally designed for children between the ages of 6 months and 5 years, the system uses tools like games, word cards, educational DVDs and music to help parents teach children how to read and to make it a fun activity for everyone.
Titzer offers the following tips to help parents encourage their young children to read:
• Start reading with your child from the day they’re born. A baby’s brain thrives on stimulation and, while it may not seem like they’re paying attention, they’re absorbing everything going on around them.
• Make reading fun. Use different character voices, act out a story, set aside a special story time with all family members and encourage children to participate in everything from turning pages to pointing out words.
• Use multimedia learning to appeal to different personality types and learning styles.
• Have a variety of books on hand and a comfortable place to read each day.
• Visit the library and encourage children to choose books they’re interested in.
For more information on the Your Baby Can Read system and additional tips to help your child learn to read, visit YourBabyCanRead.com.


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By Dr. Donna LaMar and Betsy Laney

You likely see princes and princesses every day: The baby who fusses for less than 10 seconds before Mom or Dad comes running. The toddler who “won’t let” Mom leave the store without always buying a new toy. The teenager who dictates what brand of everything the family purchases – from clothing to electronic equipment.
These so-called princes and princesses have complete control over the household. And when they don’t get their way, everyone within earshot knows about it.
While this type of behavior has always been in existence, we see more of it these days. Between both parents working outside the home and an influx of media messages that distort what a parent/child relationship should resemble, too many parents today are either trying to be their child’s best friend, or they’re trying to relive their own childhood through their children.
However, parents need to realize that their No. 1 responsibility is to prepare their children for life – the good, the bad and the ugly of it. Always giving in to what your child wants is actually harming the child, making him or her irresponsible, uncaring and simply not ready for the real world. In fact, a child who isn’t given an opportunity to learn how to deal with life or how to cope with making mistakes is being neglected and abused.   
Despite what many parents think, children thrive on routine, limits and rules. Those three things equal security for them. When routines, limits and rules are lacking, children become terrified, neurotic, anxious and upset because they know they’re not supposed to be in charge.
If you fear that one of your children is currently a prince or princess, or if you want to avoid creating one in the first place, you need to change your perspective of yourself, your child and your parenting techniques from being totally permissive to displaying appropriate authority. That’s the only way you’ll help your children develop into responsible, caring adults. Use the following suggestions to help guide your efforts.

1. Make your child responsible for age-appropriate behaviors and responsibilities.
Giving your child chores and responsibilities starts as early as age 2. Children need to learn early that everyone in the family has to work together to get everything done. Toddlers can set the table, empty their trash from their room, put their dirty clothes in the hamper and pick out their own clothes. Preschoolers can be responsible for keeping their room clean, packing their clothes for a trip, putting their clothes away from the laundry and caring for a pet. As children get older, they can mow the lawn, vacuum, do laundry and cook a simple meal. The key is to give the child age-appropriate tasks that teach him or her how to be an adult. With that said, you have to be aware of when the child can’t handle something and be able to step in to teach and guide the child before things get out of control. This may include stopping an activity that is not safe and teaching them why.

2. Refuse to allow your child to manipulate you, others or the world.
When children act out at home, they sometimes do not act out in other places; however, the prince and princess usually do. They expect everyone to treat them as royalty. And sometimes grandparents or other well-meaning adults may inadvertently help this behavior continue by bowing down to it. That’s why you need to stop the behavior at home right away before it gets out of hand and continues into other areas of the child’s life. If you allow your child to believe that the rules don’t apply to him or her at home, then there’s no way the child will be able to follow the rules at school or in life.

3. When there is a temper tantrum, give children what they don’t want versus what they do want.
Giving into a temper tantrum only reinforces bad behavior. Instead, ignore the tantrum. For example, if a child is throwing a tantrum because she wants a cookie, that cookie just disappeared. It no longer exists and therefore the child can’t have it. Unfortunately, many parents and children are confused between wants and needs. Wants don’t have to be fulfilled; needs do. Typically tantrums involve wants. To effectively deal with tantrums, parents need to shift into a neutral gear and be calm and assertive during a tantrum. Don’t play into the child’s emotion. Make sure the child is safe, and then calmly walk away. Once the audience is gone (you) the tantrum will usually stop.

4. Don’t rescue your children when they make bad decisions, unless they are in danger.
Parents naturally want to rescue their children from doing something stupid, but you need to resist that urge and let children make their own mistakes (within reasonable safety parameters). Parent your children with both your head and your heart. That means before you step in and “protect” your child, you have to ask yourself, “Should I really give in to this? If I do this, is this going to help this child to become a responsible adult?” For example, suppose you grounded your child for a week. By day two, you can’t drop it back to a two-day grounding, believing your child has learned his or her lesson. Rather, you need to let your children suffer the repercussions of any decision they make. Remember that it’s only in the pain and the suffering that we grow. If you take that away from your children, you’re essentially saying, “I’m choosing to not let you grow; I don’t love you enough.” When you truly love someone, you care enough to help that person grow physically, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.

5. Teach your children about the needs and wants of other people.
In order for your children to grow up into responsible and caring adults, they need to understand that other people have needs, wants, and feelings too. Some ways to foster this attitude in your children include:
• Having them decide which of their toys they’d like to give to children who don’t have toys.
• Letting them use their own money to purchase needed items for others (such as food baskets for the poor).
• Encouraging them to give away some of their clothes to a clothes closet or charity.
Parents set the tone for this behavior. So if your children are not aware of other people’s needs and wants, you need to help them have experiences that teach them these things.

Responsible Parenting Yields Responsible Children
If you think you’re doing something wonderful for your children by “giving them everything,” think again. You’re really just creating monsters. Additionally, parents who raise princes and princesses typically suffer too. They lose who they are because they’re spending so much time trying to please their children.
Always remember that good parenting means helping your children grow and develop into the best people they can be. This usually involves setting limits; teaching children how to handle challenges, stress and difficult times; demonstrating how to be in relationships appropriately; modeling patience and appropriate giving; and teaching kindness. The goal is to prepare your children to become healthy, responsible, contributing members of society. By following all these steps, you can finally end the reign of terror that has been dominating your household and raise healthy, productive and emotionally secure children who are assets to your community.

Dr. Donna LaMar and Betsy Laney are psychologists who created The Farm, an educational, mental health and preventive program for youth and families. They help people learn and grow, as well as heal from traumas, abuse and neglect. Working with animals, plants and nature, LaMar and Laney provide a unique form of eco-therapy and counseling to overcome life’s challenges. In addition, LaMar is working on her book, “If Marie Can Do it, So Can I!” about transcending abuse. For more information on their work, visit www.LivingFarm.org or call 231-924-2401.
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